Want to improve your self-image? Start here.

In this blog post you’ll learn:

- What self-image is

- Where a bad self-image comes from and

- How to improve your self-image

What self-image is

Self-image consists of three parts: how you view yourself AKA self-esteem, how others view you, and who you want to be. All three should be as closely in line with each other as possible. If the person you want to be is very far from how you or others view you, this impacts your self-image negatively.

How you view yourself is, in the most basic sense, self-esteem. The thoughts you have of yourself. Thoughts are just thoughts, but the way you think is up to you. You can choose to change your view of yourself if you wish.

Self-esteem is unconditional acceptance of who you are as a person despite your actions. It is knowing and believing that there’s nothing wrong with you or your feelings, and that your needs and thoughts are as important as anyone else’s.

Where a bad self-image and self-esteem stem from

Low self-esteem is formed through how others saw and treated you growing up. A child gets to know themselves by mirroring how they are treated. The way others perceive the child teaches them who they are. Unfortunately many have had bad (and false) reflections as children which affects their self-esteem negatively.

But there’s good news! That can be changed. You can redefine yourself. You have every power to choose who you actually are and most importantly how you see yourself now.

If you have low self-esteem, know that there is nothing fundamentally wrong with you. Just the way you see yourself.

The way people construct an image of you in their mind is formed through many things; interpretation of you colored by their own past experiences, the part you show them, and the circumstances of the moment.

People interpret situations and other people through their own life experiences. So, the way others perceive you is not always truthful.

You are also influenced by how others view themselves as well, not just how they view you. If you spend time with people who only complain and devalue themselves, you are likely to do the same. So, choosing confident people around you who want to better themselves is a good idea. They’ll have a positive impact on you.

How to improve self-image

If we are not who we want to be yet, it’s not a bad thing. Self-improvement is always good. It is very important to accept and love yourself for who you are but also to have something to work toward.

Although self-image should come from the three parts fairly equally, a poor self-image typically stems from placing too much importance on how others view you. There’s usually not enough focus on how you view yourself and who you want to be.

So, let’s start by reducing how much value we place on how others view us. First of all, as we established before, the way others view us is not an unequivocal truth.

Nobody knows you better than yourself. Others see only a part of you. They haven’t gone through the things in life that you have, and they can’t hear your inner dialogue. There is no way any other person knows you better than you know yourself. That’s why the only opinion that truly matters to you is your own.

But the way others perceive you does matter, and it most likely influences you. There are two things to do here. First, be yourself, and second, choose people in your life that reflect you correctly.

You shouldn’t try to influence the way others see you too much. It can be tiring AND ineffective. The more you try, the further you are from being who you really are, and others can sense that too.

The way we can impact how others view us is by selecting the right people in our lives.

Some people may have a warped version of you because they see you through their own life experiences. It’s best to drop these types of people because eventually, they will affect how you view yourself, even if it’s false.

I cut people out of my life who saw me in a more negative light than I did myself, and my self-image improved a lot as a result. I felt so much more like myself after because there wasn’t this weird version of myself haunting my mind that someone else had created that just wasn’t true. My self-images, all three parts, are more aligned with each other now.

Are you who you want to be?

If you are, that’s awesome! If you’re not quite there yet it could be a good idea to sit down and think about who you want to be.

Once you have established that, you can strive to be that person. Be easy on yourself though. Practice self-love and have compassion towards yourself. Everyone has different aspirations for who they want to be, but everyone should have self-compassion on their list. If you’re too hard on yourself, you are likely to be stressed, give up, and beat yourself some more. That leads to nowhere. So, show yourself some love and you’ll go far.

Conclusion

- Self-image consists of three parts: how you view yourself aka self-esteem, how others view you, and who you want to be.

- Self-esteem stems mostly from childhood, and how others perceived you. BUT –>

- You can redefine yourself and choose how you view yourself from now on.

- Others see you through their own life experiences. Choose people in your life that reflect you correctly, so your view of yourself doesn’t become warped.

- Strive to be who you want to be but do it with compassion towards yourself.

If you have a bad self-image, there’s nothing wrong with you. Just the way you see yourself.